Part of my testimony is that I used to use innaproprite jokes, a LOT. I remember one time a guy said to me, "I like that your a girl and can say "that's what she said "jokes"." I was flattered and proud at first, but then that summer when I went to serve with Life Teen, I decided not to use those jokes any more. I also made a goal with a friend to stop sarcasm and ran to the cross any time I was SCARcastic. I desired to live by this verse from the bible.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29
I've thought for the past 5 years that the bad and inappropriate language was all in my past. Oh how I was wrong. I realized last week that I may not be saying innaproprite things any more, but the phrases or words still come to my mind. I've been exposed to many disturbing words from my older sisters friends in high school, my friends, college, tv shows, MOVIES and life in general. I learned them all during my growing years, so I feel like it sticks with me even more so. Unfortunately all this garbage often pops up in my mind. I don't want it in my mind because I want my heart and mind to be pure and only pondering the face of God.
As I was thinking and praying in the early morning, I decided my problem is that I allow my mind to drift off. Then the phrase "idle thoughts" came to my mind. I searched scripture knowing this word was somewhere.
Philippians 4:4 "An idle mind is the devil's playground."
I've thought for the past 5 years that the bad and inappropriate language was all in my past. Oh how I was wrong. I realized last week that I may not be saying innaproprite things any more, but the phrases or words still come to my mind. I've been exposed to many disturbing words from my older sisters friends in high school, my friends, college, tv shows, MOVIES and life in general. I learned them all during my growing years, so I feel like it sticks with me even more so. Unfortunately all this garbage often pops up in my mind. I don't want it in my mind because I want my heart and mind to be pure and only pondering the face of God.
As I was thinking and praying in the early morning, I decided my problem is that I allow my mind to drift off. Then the phrase "idle thoughts" came to my mind. I searched scripture knowing this word was somewhere.
Philippians 4:4 "An idle mind is the devil's playground."
The devil's playground?! That is so true! I don't want my mind to be satan's playground. I shall destroy satan's playground! There is only room for Jesus' sandbox here! So I thought, "what am I to do"? Since I am a do-er and struggle to sit still and allow God to do the doing, I decided to state sentences throughout the day. This way I'm actively doing something, but what I am doing itself is inviting Christ in to build his beautiful sand castles. Here are the two mantras I switch between and repeat slowly. "Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner" and "Jesus, I trust in you". When I let my mind wonder about my anger towards someone's behavior, my future, my past, a cute boy at Church, or someone's latest Facebook status, I will say these mantras.
I got to thinking about what is feeding my mind to hold on to these past words or phrases full of garbage. I recently came off some commitments I made with my organization. For one year there was no dating or alcohol and internet for only 2 hours a week. I've now actually been able to look at my news feed on Facebook. Some of this is good because I've found out friends who are pregnant, feast days in the Church, and awesome articles about holiness. On the other hand, I also see all my friends status's with inappropriate jokes, bad words or links to bad articles. I also really enjoy watching movies and have been watching a movie in Hindi each week, but the messages are far from edifying. It is important for me to make good choices so that I don't feed my mind with garbage.
I got to thinking about what is feeding my mind to hold on to these past words or phrases full of garbage. I recently came off some commitments I made with my organization. For one year there was no dating or alcohol and internet for only 2 hours a week. I've now actually been able to look at my news feed on Facebook. Some of this is good because I've found out friends who are pregnant, feast days in the Church, and awesome articles about holiness. On the other hand, I also see all my friends status's with inappropriate jokes, bad words or links to bad articles. I also really enjoy watching movies and have been watching a movie in Hindi each week, but the messages are far from edifying. It is important for me to make good choices so that I don't feed my mind with garbage.
I really struggle with the worst things coming to mind. I really have been exposed to so much garbage throughout my growing up years and I get really discouraged. The only thing that helps is knowing that Jesus wants to give me freedom. More than I want my heart and mind to be purified and gazing on Him, He wants it! All I have to do is go to Him and beg him to purify my memory. Especially when I am so disgusted with something I remember when someone decided to throw their trash and grow my trash can, and all I want to do is crawl in a ball and cry. There are so many corrupt things in this world and I only wish I didn't know as much in detail. Now I need to stop adding more garbage and allow Christ to come in. Who wants to live in satan's playground? I don't!
Because Christ freely gives freedom and wants to make my heart a beautiful sand castle... I HAVE A REASON TO SING!
Because Christ freely gives freedom and wants to make my heart a beautiful sand castle... I HAVE A REASON TO SING!
